I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
