You work out of a Hotel?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
