did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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