sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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