so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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