at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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