I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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