while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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