so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
