woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
