3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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