My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just want to make out with him forever
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
