I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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