I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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