Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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