Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
