I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
