pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
