my phone needs a breathalizer
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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