batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
