it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Couch. On fire.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
