So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
