STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
