Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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