I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
