Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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