we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
