you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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