The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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