no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
