I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
