So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
