He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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