so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
