that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
