12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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