My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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