Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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