Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
