i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
