so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
