Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Michael Bay diarrhea
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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