i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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