Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
