i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
tell me about the eggs
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize