So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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