So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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