So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
