one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
