Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize