just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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