Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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