i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
