my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
