marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
