I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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