People with herpes should wear stickers.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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