hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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