its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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