I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My bed smells like the plague
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
