just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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