upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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