come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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