His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
