question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
