The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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